love breaks your heart
love takes no less than everything
love makes it hard
and it fades away so easily
love breaks the chains
love aches for everyone of us
love takes the tears and pain
and turns it into the beauty that remains




i duno whats wrong with blogger.. the words just bcame real itsy and bitsy. the font i'm currently using is LARGE.i just told my sis i had given up on blogging.. but since im online.. why not..?at least i can express my grieves...
the labtop im using now is my bro's.. i hate that i have to actually di sheng xia qi and ask him to lend me his labtop.. what the...
hate to be complacent..but i cant take it anymore.. so what if you're a boy? why are chinese just so traditional about liking boys more? are passing on your family surnames that important? like hello??!! i thought we were living in the 21st century.. turns out we're no different from the qing, tang and the whatever other dynasty ppl..
ok, i dun even want to type out the injustice i feel..makes my blood boil. i've realli been trying to control my emotions... broke down and cried just now.. was sharing my grievances with my sis when she said sth realli awful.. i admit i cant realli stand up for myself but was it realli necessary to say those things?
my mum was hit by as she states a "16 foot long pipe" while eating at the coffee shop just now.. when she came back she was crying quite badly.. the whole nose was realli red.. sigh. she just went for the xray.. thank god she's alright. wanna express my thanks to eugene n deniece for calling to ask how she was... god bless u guys. haha
haven found a job just yet.. just too lazy to even find a job... my dad refuses to let me work in the petrol station. he says the influence there is far worse than mac's..
yeah?and i was just thinking about how much i missed going to school.. its so ironic when you're actually schooling, you keep wanting to pon-tang everyday.. now that school's over, you kinda miss it...
oh goodness, realli dreading CNY..haven even bought new clothes.. seriously i realli dun give a crap bout it anymore.. but when i think about my grandaunts,aunts zi zi zha zha-ing, it makes me very, and i mean very annoyed. sometimes(pardon me) i feel like just askin to shut the h*ll up, as the saying goes, "ni bu shuo hua me ren dang ni shi ya ba"... especially that uncle irving.. he'll probably question me infront of everyone asking"you mean you cant even make it to CJ for first three months? its like one of the worst JCs leh..."ya la. so what if you're a lawyer??bl***Y H*ll"[excuse the language,feeling irritated].. and the usual, they'll probably say i've put on weight.. sigh you guys have mouths, i'll just pretend u guys arent even there..
my period just came so kinda pms-ing..
alright i think i'll just stop here.. my disgusting-annoying brother is urging me to get off and he's sprouting vulgarities like no one's business..

im too young...too immature to understand..

have a great great blessed feb!

9:15 PM;

i cant remember when was the last time i actually blogged.. but according to blogger, it was 2nd dec.. that makes it almost a month. geez.its because the contract for my house broadband ended and we didnt renew it.. so now we have to go renew the whole broadband thingy all over again. sian right. currently in church now. just finished decorating the youth ministry notice board. quite tired though.. i had insomnia last night. only managed to sleep at around 5 plus. den i kept waking up.its called disturbed sleep.the notice board looks very empty though. i wish there were more pics to pin up. but unfortunately no. my eyes are awfully dry. maybe costhe aircon is blowing right into it..

1:18 AM;

i want to dedicate this to my dad..
(taken off Simple Plan's " Perfect")

Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time
Doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that I'm all right
And you can't change me '
Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

6:29 PM;

26th nov--happy 17th birthday bev!!

baby come back to me
in my heart i still believe
we were meant to be
forever so whatever it takes
baby come back to me
i should have never set you free
my baby come back


i am leaving for phuket in approximately 11 hrs. yawn. i wouldn't say im damn excited bout going. cause im not. and thats the truth. my dad is upset that my sis and i weren't enthu bout going and my mum gave us a good lecture.
church today was ok. talked and mingled with the rest.and they just informed me that we were having some cooking food then sell thingy going on next week to raise funds for the youth camp. oh ya, the youth camp. not sure if i want to go. my bro is bent on not going. very sad la. then i'll be like all alone. as usual. like what happened during the whole night cycling thingy. he still had the balls(excuse the expression) to tell me he wanted to go for the night cycling. ya like real(rolls eyes)he's just super anti-social..
i wanted to upload the pics i took during prom but they all got erased bcos of my itchy fingers. i went to play with all the thingys in the menu den when i changed it back to play mode. it wrote there "NO IMAGE". cry like mad la. anw that stupid memory card could only contain 14 pathethic pictures- 16 MB but my dad just got the new 512 MB memory card this week. which can contain like 144 pics.but i just took new ones fpr my bade. shld be uploading it soon i guess. if i can use the labtop.
sigh.. to think i could find a job i have so many things coming up i dun think any company would want to hire a worker who can only work for a few days. i have this phuket trip to go to and will only be back saturday morning. what if there's like a tsunami again ah? AHHH!!!!!!! CHOI!!!!!!!!lets just be prepared like in case u know..cause we most prob will go swimming in the sea. but looking at the pictures there doesnt seem to be any waves in the sea.. the sea looks still.. waveless.and den in dec the myanmar mission trip den when i come back youth camp. den before i know it we'll be celebrating christmas.
oh yes if anyone has any job vacancies must tell me k. nah you guys probably need the job. ok.haha. anyway my dad doesnt want me to work now. he says he wants me to relax. aiya nan de that we can get 4 months of holiday what!!!so must enjoy........
like seriously i have been lazing around everyday.eat, watch tv sleep. so ya stay at home grow fat lor. what to do!!!haha. i've been watching like kidscentral everyday. they have nice shows ok! like WINX CLUB. childish la i know. nothing to do what.and err JUSTICE LEAGUE. ya i'm trying to recollect my childhood memories ok! so laugh all you want!!!! grr...
alright gotta be going..i havent even packed my bag yet! and im hungry...

will blog more when i get back.. till then.. bye bye!!!!

6:23 PM;

maybe i don't know what love is
maybe i'm a fool
i just know what i'm feeling and it's all because of you
don't tell me i don't know i want the truth
cuz they call it, we call it, i call it love




yay!!! i can blog. my fingers have been getting a little itchy since i haven touched the com in awhile. casue my bro's frens are here and his fren let me use it.
i dunno how guys can keep playing the stoopid ps2 fifa games all the time. wun u guys ever get sick of it? i know i will.oh geez. i just found out **'s frm njc. gak. i didnt know he was tt smart.


im so happy cause there's only one paper left till the end of o's which is on monday. all the pure sciences girls are all partying and celebrating while we're stuck at home "studyin"mcq. my sis keeps saying dun think mcq is unimportant. it can realli help you pull up your marks. sigh. i dun wanna have high hopes for o's cause i kinda feel like i screwed up in some areas. like today's history elective was a disaster. i can hear my inner voice shouting "see la! spot la! spot chapts and thats what u get"most of us spotted war in europe and the pacific, especially china and all. and none of that thingy came out. i opened the paper and i was like "ahhhh die la die la" want to cry... so i just crapped all the way. crapped=bull=0.
realli.i can just imagine the cambridge examiners laughing until they cry. luckily i wun have to see their reactions..
we were discussing like what the hell the markers do with our papers. perhaps burn it, throw it.. i mean well, god knows what they do with it. why cant they just return to us? eu said cause if they send it back they'll have to pay for the "return air fare" smart man gurl.
im also super happy bcos i finally got my stuff! the perfume-80 bucks poof! super xing tong now.and the hair dye and all... yay! i can finally dye my hair cum monday!!!!!!!!!!
ok my dad is solding me bout playing with young boys.. wth. go n die. im just blogging can??!! grr. i hope he gives me my bdae money and buys me my strawberry shortcake. after all!!! it is my life changing moment. when i turn sixteen. its a big change ok!! nomore PG MOVIES! ITS OVER AND DONE WITH!!! now to cross the m18 one. bleah.

tata-os.
i know who the real ******* leave it to be.
dun discard me like trash k. :(
and it realli is 1+ am now..

1:30 AM;

omgosh! im actually breakin
the rules and blogging now. its like o's for crying out loud. so anw at the office now. just finished church and activites and i went for the youth thingy. haha. its funny la. and fun. and i practically had to drag my bro to go with me. embarrassin! haha. there's this guy dexian who realli nerdishly funny. like today he saw me tryin to pull my brother out of the loo and i asked him like if he was going for the youth thingy and den he pretended he didnt know and then ltr he said "of course i know la!" den gave me tt cheeky grin. so b'cos my bro hid in the toilet i walked to the youth place with him and he asked me this realli lame questn. do you know jesus can resurrect himself? and i was like huh!!?? den i burst out laughing bcos of his facial expressions.
we sang songs like heart of worship! thank god i knew how to sing it and listened to this other song tt was realli nice. everyone was just singing and having fun.
its lit paper2 tmr-so gonna flunk it cause i haven studied for it at all!think im gonna cramp tonight..cause ystd i was just slacking at home and managed to read 2 poems. pathethic. its close to five now.. and my dad's gonna pick us home soon..
did i mention? im going for the myanmar mission trip with 24 other ppl frm the 8th to 14th. its gonna be great. except for where we're gonna stay and all.i think after this mission trip im gonna realli mature and grow up and all.. ok this sounds dumb! ok gtg! tata! wish me all the best for tmr's paper!

5:01 PM;

There's something about you and you don't even know it
I'm telling you now that you got me good
There's something about you and I can't help but show it
Damn right, you got me good
Now I'm not alone
With you I'm whole
I gotta let you know
You got me good





this stupid thing took so long to load..

wahh.. i lost one side of my earring. i was in my dad's car then i was playing with it den it dropped into my pinafore and i dunno where it went. and i was at the bustop trying to look for it and this punggol sec guy looked at me as if i just stepped out of IMH. and i thought i missed the bus and i totally freaked out. turns out the bus today was late. ran like cray to school whilst everyone was strolling. cause it was like 727!!

we left house super late today. at abt 7. my sis has no sense of urgency. she came down only at 655! i was practically dragging my feet out of my home. my dad gave me a good slashing.i quote and unquote:" why u always so sian one? get a little more life can anot?" yup. just the thing i need on a sucky morning.

there's an emath test after this. i dun wanna do it. i kinda forgot all my transformation concepts. arrgh. elan's gonna skin me alive...

yawn.. and i'm so freakin tired. but i slept at 11+!! and didnt do any revision! ok, i've run out of things to say.

i dunno y others just suddenly start dao-ing you just b'cos u stared at them. and the stare was not like glaring . was just lokking cause i was just very puzzled by your behaviour.

sigh. im going to skip school tmr and i dun care if LMK calls my home.

friday's the so called farewell. just now kang and i were saying that we were gonna to miss the school a little. and it'll be different when u go into a new environment. okok. and there's a reception after that?? i dun even know what's going on.. and im not gonna blog anymore! :D

11:25 AM;

here we are. another day in borin school.
i didnt go to school ystd. because of many reasons. and stupid teacher kept calling my mum and my mum shouted like hell at me..

grr.why couldnt they just give us 3 weeks of studying period? screwed up system.
im not planning to go to school like for the rest of the week. cause its boring with all these stupid tests that we never ever get back.

friends who eat ur sweets and dun leave any for you? they're still friends la. dun say im petty. u guys finished all my sweets and didnt pay me back!!

but woo! im over it. i did the bio test today! but no one in class wanted to collect and pass it to rai so we just didnt hand up. waste my effort.

i cried last night. just afraid i cant make it thru o's. and its a terribly, scary feeling. i asked my dad if i could commit suicide the day before i recieved my results.

sigh. its make it or break it. and its realli up to us whether we want to do well anot.

and i hate my alarm clock.

sorri for the short short entry. i have to complete the ss.


today is the polo shirt day. i saw so many "people" wearing it. :)


I've always been in love with you
I guess you've always known it's true
you took my love for granted
why oh why?
The show is over say goodbye

11:42 AM;